Anonymous asked: Kink is an elaborate form of self-harm, y'know. What kind of logic compels you to look at a person running a razor blade across their wrist and say that's awful, yet look at someone choose to get spanked and slapped and say that's absolutely peachy??
Also “elaborate forms of self-harm” by your incredibly well-thought-out “anything that causes physical pain is exactly the same” definition: marathon running, waxing, martial arts, ear piercing, deep tissue massage. Go bug people who do those things for once.
But to take your question far more seriously than it deserves…
I do self-harm. I have since I was a child. I’m glad you have my best interests at heart here, but your kind attempt at supporting my recovery is a little misguided. Because believe me, if guilt and shame and “what’s wrong with you” and “lol ur a freak” made a person stop it, I’d have quit twenty years ago.
I also do kink. And the difference is… well. I won’t get into complicated details here. I’ll just say this. When I self-harm, it’s because I hate myself. When my partner hits me, it’s because he loves me.
And seriously, could y’all anti-BDSM people please move beyond the idea that harm and abuse are defined by hitting? It’s so fuckin’ superficial. Ooh, hitting, there’s a lot of movement and a big sound, must be a real bad thing. (Although you don’t even stick to that, because I never see you hassling boxers, even though they hit each other in ways that would horrify most kinksters and take far more long-term damage. But boxing isn’t a scandalous sex thing that’s secretly fun to think about, huh?)
The worst harm that’s ever been done to me, from without and within, was done with words and with rage. Without those, hitting is just getting some bruises while you’re having a good time, and shit, people do that skateboarding.